4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
- 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Now I know that many of you who read this may not agree with my personal spiritual beliefs, but at the same right most of you can agree that the bible is a historical document with merit when it comes to instructions on how to be to one another. I love the way it defines love, so much more than the Miriam Webster definition that I regurgitated a few blogs ago, not that it is vomit, but it is such a bland interpretation of what love is and could be. I still believe that it should be something that is all encompassing, and when I choose or better yet, God helps introduce, reintroduce, or just points out my mate to be, that I keep these words close to my heart and choose to define the love that I share with her by these words.
I know some of you were expecting some type of idiocy or extreme outings, but at the same right, there's always the come down, or, the possibility of making even bigger mistakes, which albeit I was a master of getting into and getting out of, I don't feel it's time to hone up the skills. As it is I am looking into a weekend with some of my brothers to climb walls, up the 'pamper' pole (a pole so named due to climbing it makes you wish you were wearing pampers, and as you reach the top, you jump off), just kickin' it, cards, and possibly sending some rounds downrange. So in that, I will be able to blow off steam.
I am fighting the fact that I put everything on the line and crapped out, but at the same right, I'd rather live my life knowing I took the chance, and not wondering 'what if'... It's love, it's gonna be flying by the seat of your pants, it's gonna be scary, it's gonna be crazy, but if I don't take those chances, who knows. I'd rather live with, 'oh, so that's what was gonna happen' instead of, 'I wonder what would have been could have been'. So, yeah. Am I hurt? Yeah. Have I been hurt before? Yeah. Was I willing to risk it all for an emotion that I have never really put out there in the way that I did this time? Yeah. Am I gonna do it again? Yup yup. In time, when I and if I feel the time is right. Not planning for anytime soon. Do I still love her? Yup. Why? Cuz Love keeps no record of being wrong. Either or, I am extremely touched by the support from my brothers and sisters, and most of all, my kin. I guess when you actually tell people honestly how you are feeling (I may not be super in touch with these types of emotions too much yet, but being able to say 'sucks monkey butt on ice' is a big step for me) and just lay the cards on the table, there are people in this world who won't use it to hurt you, but will use their love for you to help you heal. In that, I am so blessed I cannot even begin to explain how much. I love each and every one of you, and God does too. 4
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